The Happiness Curve: Why You Should Look Forward to Aging
“My whole life, I’ve assumed that getting older would mean a less satisfying and enjoyable life, and our society certainly considers aging to be a negative thing. But my experience is that life just keeps getting better with age! Am I unique in feeling this way?”
Dear Surprisingly Happy,
Your experience is actually quite normal, despite what we have been led to believe! Society and culture tell us that aging is something to be feared and avoided; that it is a progressive downhill path of physical and mental decline. These ageist stereotypes paint a negative picture of growing older that are not only harmful and destructive, but also quite incorrect, according to research.
One of the most well-studied phenomena in this area is called the Happiness U-Curve, sometimes referred to as the “paradox of aging”. According to the Happiness U-Curve, for most people life satisfaction and happiness drop to their lowest points in midlife, and then begin to rise again, reaching their highest peaks in old age. It turns out that our forties are generally the most stressful and unsatisfying years in our lives, as we struggle with balancing careers, childcare, caregiving for adult parents, and the constant pressure of keeping up with others and reaching certain ideals.
According to Jonathan Rauch, author of The Happiness Curve, “Studies show quite strongly that people’s satisfaction with their life increases, on average, from their early 50s on through their 60s and 70s and even beyond—for many until disability and final illness exact their toll toward the very end.”
The Happiness U-Curve may also explained by a shift in mindset and the accumulation of wisdom that tends to occur as we age. As we get older, we tend to have better emotional regulation, more compassion and gratitude, more empathy and self-knowledge, a higher tolerance for the unknown, and are more engaged in the present moment instead of fretting about the past or the future. In addition, with age we tend to care far less about social competition and are more likely to savor meaningful time with the ones we love and care about.
According to Laura Carstensen, director of the Stanford Center on Longevity, “When people face endings they tend to shift from goals about exploration and expanding horizons to ones about savoring relationships and focusing on meaningful activities. When you focus on emotionally meaningful goals, life gets better, you feel better, and the negative emotions become less frequent and more fleeting when they occur.”
Although we may experience decline in our physical and cognitive functioning, research shows that our mental health, sense of well-being, and resiliency actually keep improving with age. In short, we should not be afraid of growing older—there is actually a lot to look forward to!